Friday, July 8, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
italy smells like summer camp...
no matter where i go, the mosquito mafia come after me.
so, while everyone else is strutting around this renaissance town in the latest scent from dolce and gabbana, or maybe some spicy number by armani, i am doused in the OFF that cassie bought me this week. because i need it. because they find me wherever i am and i have the battle wounds to show for it. (but can you even call it a battle when they get you while you're sleeping? really, it's just unfair...)
my family will appreciate that i woke up last week with one of my eyes half-swollen shut... just like the old days! and then (another family reference) just two days ago they bit the top of my left ear and it swelled up to appear more... well... more like a Pillari ear.
so, while everyone else is strutting around this renaissance town in the latest scent from dolce and gabbana, or maybe some spicy number by armani, i am doused in the OFF that cassie bought me this week. because i need it. because they find me wherever i am and i have the battle wounds to show for it. (but can you even call it a battle when they get you while you're sleeping? really, it's just unfair...)
my family will appreciate that i woke up last week with one of my eyes half-swollen shut... just like the old days! and then (another family reference) just two days ago they bit the top of my left ear and it swelled up to appear more... well... more like a Pillari ear.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Trinity Sunday- feel the LOVE !
Today is a great day- today is Trinity Sunday!
Yesterday (Saturday) I walked to the Duomo to go to confession, and since it was right before their Saturday Vigil mass in English, I was hoping I'd get an English-speaking priest. He started in Italian, so I also started in Italian, but as I struggled over my limited 'confession' vocabulary, he said, in perfect English, "would you prefer to speak English?" Gee, padre, that would have been great to know five minutes ago... no I'm kidding, I didn't mind in the least. (I promise I wasn't being sarcastic in the confessional.) And yes, I would prefer to speak English, thank you.
So confession was great (but aren't they all?) and then after exiting the confessional, the priest exited as well and asked if I was staying for the English mass, and when I said yes, he asked if I would be willing to do one of the readings. As in, step up to the Ambo in the DUOMO and proclaim the Word of God! yes yes YES I will read! Holy moly! Actually though, to be honest, the excitement wasn't my first thought. My first thought, or rather, my first sentiment, was just this wave of compassion and mercy from God through this priest's invitation...(almost immediately after hearing all the ways I've strayed in the last two months)... it was this beautiful call to live in God's forgiveness, because, immediately following confession, I probably would have went back to the pew to do my penance and would have eventually slipped into negative thoughts about what I had just confessed... but instead God said, no! You are a new creation! You are made clean by my Precious Blood, go and sin no more! I love you!
And so, he led me into the sanctuary so that I could look over the readings, and then I found a seat near the front so I would be close when it was time to read. The whole "oh wow I'm reading in the Duomo and my voice is echoing throughout this entire sacred space" didn't hit me until I got up there to actually read and looked out at everyone and what a magnificent place I was in. Seriously, what a gift. What an embrace.
Another gift from the hand of God in the last week is a friendship ( a REAL friend! ) that began with one of those guys from Baylor that I mentioned in an earlier post ... it was really on a whim that I'd given them my contact info, and probably on a whim that one of them emailed me to get together for dinner this week, but when we did, it really felt like encouragement from the Lord, something He had orchestrated. In a nutshell, we had a lot of the same sentiments about living here in Italy while really trying to be with the Lord each day, and the challenges of that, and the ways that that inevitably makes us a bit different from other people we might meet. That doesn't mean I can't make friends with other people who don't feel the same way, or that I need to distance yourself, but I've felt on a number of occasions that the way that I've chosen to live my life is just different... that's just the way it is.
The night before I had had a long conversation with some Italian, a very casual conversation at first but it eventually got around to religion, and although I wasn't in 'preaching' mode I was very frank about how much my Catholic faith means to me, and it was really incomprehensible for him. That's not unusual for here- well, it's not unusual for anywhere, really- but definitely when people encounter religion they see it as ritual, as rules, as buildings and hierarchy and such... and it IS those things, in part, and I find those things so beautiful. But that's not why it's the center of my life... it's not about all those things in the end, it's about an encounter with Christ... (I say this with humility because obviously I never live this fully, but you know what I mean...) ... it's like religion is the dance, and this relationship with Christ is the beautiful music that moves you to dance... that analogy is really not sufficient, but it's just what came to mind.
Anyway, so my friend Matthew and I have a lot in common in terms of trying to live the faith, so that's a big gift. It's nice to be able to talk and discuss (in English), not always about deep, personal stuff, but just to know that certain values and beliefs are understood. He's taking a class on Dante while he's here so I think tomorrow I'm going to go out and get an Italian/English book of the Divine Comedy... what better book to read while I'm in Florence?
More soon- probably right away- but I like having different posts for different topics.
Ciao for now!
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
shout out to my girl...
Happy Feast Day, Saint Germaine!
it has nothing to do with florence but she's a good friend and today's her day so there you go.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
friend-making, part 2
[ i posted about three times this evening so before reading this i'd recommend going down to the post on the tuscan weekend and working your way up from there! ]
nope, i lied, i'm just going to finish this tonight, because tomorrow i'll want to say other things.
well, so after exchanging emails with my new texas friends, i spent a while at piazzale michelangelo, which is just below the church i was at. for those who may not be familiar, piazzale michelangelo is THE place for a look-out of florence... i can imagine it would also be very romantic, but mostly it's just a beautiful view, especially at sunset. so, i stayed there for a while, looking to talk to people (and doing so here and there) but generally feeling overwhelmed by the number of tourists (and yes, i do realize i'm one of them), i think, in addition to the fact that i seemed to be the only person there by myself. i mean really, i kept looking around, and i couldn't find a single person who was on their own.
maybe it sounds really sad that i keep talking about not having friends, and i don't mean to suggest it's on my mind all the time, or that it's making me depressed. because it's not. but it's teaching me a lot about myself, and it is, in many ways, an opportunity, at least that's how i feel about it. i'm not worried that i'm going to spend my nights, for the next month, looking for people to spend time with. this is just part of me getting settled in, you know? i'm ok with it.
you can look at it two ways... (1) either being in this big throng of people is sad and lonely or (2) it's just FULL of opportunity. i mean, people from all over the world, and i have nothing to lose... sounds like a lot of potential. plus, when i do feel lonely, (not just here, i mean, in general), it can often become a prayer for me, because in that loneliness i know that God is right there with me, and i'm really not standing by myself, and i also get to see things from his perspective, from the perspective of so many people who are daily marginalized, who stand in a crowd and plead, silently, when will someone invite me in? when will someone say hello? how often does God stand beside us in our day without so much as a glance? so, in all that fills my days, i am learning a lot.
but back to my day. so i take a bus back to cassie's apartment, and she and i enjoy sharing our days, and i eat and get changed into one of cass's cute dresses, and head out for a glass of wine or something. it's 9:30 and i've gotten a second wind and i just can't stay in- it feels like risk-taking time! so, i got on my horse and prepared for adventure.
just a few blocks away, there was a really big, open piazza where people were standing around and talking, drinking here and there, playing foosball (yes, really!) and generally just being together. i mean, there were so many people... and it was in many ways a relief for me to be again in an environment that was very neighborly and local, as opposed to the different sort of activity one would find closer to the center of the city, and more like what i had seen a lot of today. so, after a bit of meandering and such, i just decided to go up to this outdoor bar and get a drink and then try to assimilate myself.
the thing is, it's a lot easier to find people to talk with and hang out with where there are more tourists because, obviously, they speak english, there's common ground, etc. but, one of the downsides of that is that inevitably they're probably only around for a few days, which means (1) it would be short-lived, and (2) they're going to be more willing to spend money and wanting to do all the tourist stuff, because hey, you're in florence, live it up... and i don't know how many times i can pick up a new friendship like that and go through that routine... it was fun with these friends from Seattle, and I'm sure it'll happen again, but when heading out tonight, i felt like going the tougher road and trying to befriend real italians.
so, beer in hand, i go to a foosball table and decide to just stand there and play the interested spectator card. no one says anything to me- a few games go by- i'm still standing there- still nothing- and i'm thinking, well, if i get some flagrant rejection, (or even a subtle one), i'll unite it with the sufferings of Christ, so it's fine. (and it's a good story later, right?)... so I eventually get myself into a game, and really do a terrible job as goalkeeper, and i keep turning to the girl with whom i'm playing and saying, 'i'm sorry!... sorry again!' ... yep maybe standing there silently with the beer in my hand was better... game ends, we lose by a LOT, and everyone just disperses.
so i say to myself, i'm not sure what just happened... well, nothing, actually. which was really wierd. but, time for another try, yes? and this time i decide i just have to be straight-forward, all-in. so i look around for a group of guys, because i've decided that mixed groups are harder to break into... don't ask me why, i don't have a good answer for it. (i do realize that all of the people i've mentioned in the last few entries have been groups of guys...) ... i just feel like with girls involved it gets way more complicated, since i myself am a girl, and there's just some dynamics there... oh, i don't know. point is, i was looking for a group of average-looking guys (if they're too good looking i just feel like they're bad news...) and so I just walked up to these three guys and said, 'may i join your conversation?'... and they let me in! so for the next, oh, maybe hour or so, we talked, almost all in italian, a teeny bit in english, but mostly italian. i was delighted. and we were actually discussing things too, which was nice.
so, at 11:30 i called it a night and bid them adieu, and we said maybe we'd run into each other later, since we all live in that neighborhood. at first i was like, oh, too bad we didn't exchange contact info, and then i thought, no, you know what? that was big-time, right there. the point wasn't to develop some long-term thing... the point was that i just stuck my foot into the conversation of three total strangers and they welcomed me, God bless them. (which is, i'd like to point out, one of the corporal works of mercy!)
now i'm really done posting. how did you ever read this entire thing? you're crazy. but thanks.
nope, i lied, i'm just going to finish this tonight, because tomorrow i'll want to say other things.
well, so after exchanging emails with my new texas friends, i spent a while at piazzale michelangelo, which is just below the church i was at. for those who may not be familiar, piazzale michelangelo is THE place for a look-out of florence... i can imagine it would also be very romantic, but mostly it's just a beautiful view, especially at sunset. so, i stayed there for a while, looking to talk to people (and doing so here and there) but generally feeling overwhelmed by the number of tourists (and yes, i do realize i'm one of them), i think, in addition to the fact that i seemed to be the only person there by myself. i mean really, i kept looking around, and i couldn't find a single person who was on their own.
maybe it sounds really sad that i keep talking about not having friends, and i don't mean to suggest it's on my mind all the time, or that it's making me depressed. because it's not. but it's teaching me a lot about myself, and it is, in many ways, an opportunity, at least that's how i feel about it. i'm not worried that i'm going to spend my nights, for the next month, looking for people to spend time with. this is just part of me getting settled in, you know? i'm ok with it.
you can look at it two ways... (1) either being in this big throng of people is sad and lonely or (2) it's just FULL of opportunity. i mean, people from all over the world, and i have nothing to lose... sounds like a lot of potential. plus, when i do feel lonely, (not just here, i mean, in general), it can often become a prayer for me, because in that loneliness i know that God is right there with me, and i'm really not standing by myself, and i also get to see things from his perspective, from the perspective of so many people who are daily marginalized, who stand in a crowd and plead, silently, when will someone invite me in? when will someone say hello? how often does God stand beside us in our day without so much as a glance? so, in all that fills my days, i am learning a lot.
but back to my day. so i take a bus back to cassie's apartment, and she and i enjoy sharing our days, and i eat and get changed into one of cass's cute dresses, and head out for a glass of wine or something. it's 9:30 and i've gotten a second wind and i just can't stay in- it feels like risk-taking time! so, i got on my horse and prepared for adventure.
just a few blocks away, there was a really big, open piazza where people were standing around and talking, drinking here and there, playing foosball (yes, really!) and generally just being together. i mean, there were so many people... and it was in many ways a relief for me to be again in an environment that was very neighborly and local, as opposed to the different sort of activity one would find closer to the center of the city, and more like what i had seen a lot of today. so, after a bit of meandering and such, i just decided to go up to this outdoor bar and get a drink and then try to assimilate myself.
the thing is, it's a lot easier to find people to talk with and hang out with where there are more tourists because, obviously, they speak english, there's common ground, etc. but, one of the downsides of that is that inevitably they're probably only around for a few days, which means (1) it would be short-lived, and (2) they're going to be more willing to spend money and wanting to do all the tourist stuff, because hey, you're in florence, live it up... and i don't know how many times i can pick up a new friendship like that and go through that routine... it was fun with these friends from Seattle, and I'm sure it'll happen again, but when heading out tonight, i felt like going the tougher road and trying to befriend real italians.
so, beer in hand, i go to a foosball table and decide to just stand there and play the interested spectator card. no one says anything to me- a few games go by- i'm still standing there- still nothing- and i'm thinking, well, if i get some flagrant rejection, (or even a subtle one), i'll unite it with the sufferings of Christ, so it's fine. (and it's a good story later, right?)... so I eventually get myself into a game, and really do a terrible job as goalkeeper, and i keep turning to the girl with whom i'm playing and saying, 'i'm sorry!... sorry again!' ... yep maybe standing there silently with the beer in my hand was better... game ends, we lose by a LOT, and everyone just disperses.
so i say to myself, i'm not sure what just happened... well, nothing, actually. which was really wierd. but, time for another try, yes? and this time i decide i just have to be straight-forward, all-in. so i look around for a group of guys, because i've decided that mixed groups are harder to break into... don't ask me why, i don't have a good answer for it. (i do realize that all of the people i've mentioned in the last few entries have been groups of guys...) ... i just feel like with girls involved it gets way more complicated, since i myself am a girl, and there's just some dynamics there... oh, i don't know. point is, i was looking for a group of average-looking guys (if they're too good looking i just feel like they're bad news...) and so I just walked up to these three guys and said, 'may i join your conversation?'... and they let me in! so for the next, oh, maybe hour or so, we talked, almost all in italian, a teeny bit in english, but mostly italian. i was delighted. and we were actually discussing things too, which was nice.
so, at 11:30 i called it a night and bid them adieu, and we said maybe we'd run into each other later, since we all live in that neighborhood. at first i was like, oh, too bad we didn't exchange contact info, and then i thought, no, you know what? that was big-time, right there. the point wasn't to develop some long-term thing... the point was that i just stuck my foot into the conversation of three total strangers and they welcomed me, God bless them. (which is, i'd like to point out, one of the corporal works of mercy!)
now i'm really done posting. how did you ever read this entire thing? you're crazy. but thanks.
friend-making
i just posted about 2 minutes ago but that's because the majority of it was written yesterday and i'm just now posting it. so... (this is, if you haven't figured it out already, the unabridged version of my florence life...i'm having trouble believing anyone wants to know THIS much about my day-to-day, but reading it is up to you...)
... i'd just like to start by saying that i'm currently fighting the urge to go get a bread & nutella snack from the kitchen... gosh, i am so spoiled with the food here. cassie thought we 'didn't have anything' in the kitchen for dinner, which wasn't true, and i ended up eating some really fantastic cantalope with prosciutto crudo on it that we bought from the market the other day... i mean really, something that good, and at such a good quality, would be a dream meal back home. or at least part of a dream meal. and i followed it with bread and nutella. which is why i'm fighting off round three of the bread and nutella (i had it for breakfast too...)
SO i made some friends last night! after getting back from the countryside, i changed clothes and decided to go out for a walk... i really didn't have any designs on my time and thought it would be rather short, but i got a bit lost and ended up at the Duomo (ah, the beauty of getting lost around here... ) where it was flocked with tourists, not surprisingly. it's right in the center of the city where the tourism is at it's strongest, so that wasn't too surprising, and i was really in a good mood with a strong step and feeling like i was going to step in and introduce myself to someone or some group of people. i saw some very conspicuous groups of study abroad kids walking around, and opted out of that... no judgement, (well ok, maybe a little bit of judgement...) but mostly it just didn't seem like a good fit... but i planted myself by the Baptistery Doors and waited a bit, until two guys looking rather obviously american (polos and jeans... ) came up and one was taking a picture of the other, so i said, "if you'd both like to be in it, I can take the picture", so that started the conversation, and as we started talking i was thinking, 'brilliant! what a great 'in'! i'll have to use that line more often!' and we kept standing there talking and i was like, hm, am i going to invite myself out with them, or are they going to invite me, or do i care? BUT they did invite me along and i ended up hanging out with them for the rest of the evening, and it wasn't life altering but it was fun.
we walked around for a while looking for a place to stop and have a drink, and passed an irish pub but thought, given where we were, we could do better, so we kept going and really couldn't find a place that looked good, so i finally asked a waiter standing outside of a restaurant if there was a 'pub' (italian for bar) around any corners nearby, and he sent us somewhere and said, 'when you get there, tell them '________' (some phrase in italian)' so we said ok thanks! and then we got to this place, which wasn't really what any of us had in mind i don't think, but we had walked a while at that point so we got a little table and ordered drinks... and none of us could remember what we were supposed to say, so i attempted to tell our waitress (in italian) 'this guy... around the corner... he wanted us to say something to you.... i don't remember, i'm sorry...' and she said, oh, was it francesco? well, i definitely did not know the guys name, but we were all like, yes, yes i believe it was francesco... so she got a big smile on her face, and cut our bill in half and brought us a big plate of salami and cheese and bread... so, thank you francesco?
after that we found a big open piazza with a rather uppity little cafe outside with a pretty good band playing, so we got a table there and enjoyed the music for a while.... they invited me to hang out with them today, so we exchanged emails and said we'd email in the morning.
sooo then this morning, i walked sophie and nico to their french school here in florence, and it was so cool... almost all the kids there are fluent in at least three languages, because they all live in italy (hence italian) and the school is 100% french speaking, so they've got that, and then so many of them speak something else at home. watching the kids play before it was time to go into school was like seeing a little United Nations... so cute. another thing i loved about walking them to school was the opportunity to see normal life in italy... maybe that sounds silly but the area where cassie lives is just SO SO not touristy, and i love that. and yet it's still in the city, and yes, you still see americans from time to time (obviously including me), but as we walked to school there were so many people walking to work, opening their shops for the day, walking the dog... normal life. in florence. i think there are some people whose experience of italy would lead them to believe that it's impossible for an italian man to see a woman walking down the street and not haggle her. but the haggling often has a lot to do with the woman looking american, for starters. i mean, i shouldn't talk about this like i'm an expert, because i'm not... i'm just trying to say that i appreciated what i saw this morning.
(by the way i just caved and got a spoon full of nutella...)
because, by CONTRAST, my afternoon was so very touristy, and it wore me down big time. i met up with my seattle friends for lunch, followed by gelato (now at an acceptable time of day, you'll note...) and then we parted ways. i went to the church of santa maria novella, spent some time in prayer and looked at the art in the church, and then caught a bus for a dominican church up at the top of a huge hill where they invite people to come to the church when they chant vespers (in latin) and chant a mass immediately after (in latin) ... the church is called San Miniate, and as i sat and listened to their beautiful singing, (there was only maybe 6 of them but the church really made them sound so much bigger), it was striking to me how much at home i felt in that chanting, in that place, even though technically i couldn't understand anything of what they were saying besides the occasional doxology. and i was thinking about how neat it was that other people could come here and see REAL monks, and hear REAL gregorian chant, in a REAL monastery, and how strange and 'otherly' it must be for many of them... kind of like going to a zoo, in a way (no disrespect to the monks) ... and, more than anything, how immensely grateful i am that this isn't something i was just visiting or seeing from the outside, but something i've been blessed to experience throughout my formation as a Catholic, and something that I can say is my own as part of my Church (even though it's not my daily way of praying, obviously).
for anyone who wasn't Catholic, their transition from vespers to Mass was tough to notice, so that made me a bit uncomfortable because so many people were still sitting there in spectator mode, and i hated to think that it was turning into a sort of show, especially the consecration... i can't say what was in people's hearts, i just know there were a LOT of people who stayed sitting while a small number of us were standing/sitting/kneeling as the Mass called for it, and i'd venture to guess there were a few first communions as well... oh but that's really not for me to be concerned about. that's God's business. i guess the teacher in me was just looking to throw a bone, catecetically speaking, to the visitors, not to draw lines and division but just to illuminate a bit of what was going on and such. oh well.
so after vespers and mass, i had noticed a few guys who looked very american (khaki cargo shorts, polo shirts, and flip flops.... yep, american....) walking around looking at the art (they had also been at mass) and so i decided these would be good guys to be friends with, and asked one of them a question about the mosaic he was looking at (lame intro, but no one needed help taking pictures, what was i supposed to do?) and we started talking a bit... they were from texas, and they're in florence with baylor university for the next few weeks, and one of them even had a swing dance shirt on, so i just knew we'd get along. however, after some mild conversation, they said, 'well, enjoy your visit!' and left, and i was like, no, you were supposed to tell me we should get together again! you were supposed to ask me for my contact information! so i stood there pouting for maybe 30 seconds and then was like, NO, we are TAKING this bull by the HORNS, thank you very much, so i ran and caught up to them (definitely not desperate...) and asked if i could give them my email address, because i was looking for people to hang out with, so they were very kind and took it.
the victory in all of that wasn't that i gave out my email address to someone... the victory was in me realizing how hard it was for me to admit to someone, 'hey, i need friends, i'm by myself right now, would you be my friend?' ... something in me really fights that humility, that vulnerability, that neediness, and that's just silly, really. i mean i guess i'm not surprised i feel that way, but i'm glad i didn't let it ('it' being my pride, or my fear, or whatever) have the last word. i feel like i've made a lot of transitions in life as the new kid, but looking back on my different transitions, i suppose i've almost always had (1) either a security blanket of some kind or (2) a situation in which EVERYONE was the new kid so it's not like you're the only one looking for friends.
more to say, but i should be getting to bed... check back tomorrow!
... i'd just like to start by saying that i'm currently fighting the urge to go get a bread & nutella snack from the kitchen... gosh, i am so spoiled with the food here. cassie thought we 'didn't have anything' in the kitchen for dinner, which wasn't true, and i ended up eating some really fantastic cantalope with prosciutto crudo on it that we bought from the market the other day... i mean really, something that good, and at such a good quality, would be a dream meal back home. or at least part of a dream meal. and i followed it with bread and nutella. which is why i'm fighting off round three of the bread and nutella (i had it for breakfast too...)
SO i made some friends last night! after getting back from the countryside, i changed clothes and decided to go out for a walk... i really didn't have any designs on my time and thought it would be rather short, but i got a bit lost and ended up at the Duomo (ah, the beauty of getting lost around here... ) where it was flocked with tourists, not surprisingly. it's right in the center of the city where the tourism is at it's strongest, so that wasn't too surprising, and i was really in a good mood with a strong step and feeling like i was going to step in and introduce myself to someone or some group of people. i saw some very conspicuous groups of study abroad kids walking around, and opted out of that... no judgement, (well ok, maybe a little bit of judgement...) but mostly it just didn't seem like a good fit... but i planted myself by the Baptistery Doors and waited a bit, until two guys looking rather obviously american (polos and jeans... ) came up and one was taking a picture of the other, so i said, "if you'd both like to be in it, I can take the picture", so that started the conversation, and as we started talking i was thinking, 'brilliant! what a great 'in'! i'll have to use that line more often!' and we kept standing there talking and i was like, hm, am i going to invite myself out with them, or are they going to invite me, or do i care? BUT they did invite me along and i ended up hanging out with them for the rest of the evening, and it wasn't life altering but it was fun.
we walked around for a while looking for a place to stop and have a drink, and passed an irish pub but thought, given where we were, we could do better, so we kept going and really couldn't find a place that looked good, so i finally asked a waiter standing outside of a restaurant if there was a 'pub' (italian for bar) around any corners nearby, and he sent us somewhere and said, 'when you get there, tell them '________' (some phrase in italian)' so we said ok thanks! and then we got to this place, which wasn't really what any of us had in mind i don't think, but we had walked a while at that point so we got a little table and ordered drinks... and none of us could remember what we were supposed to say, so i attempted to tell our waitress (in italian) 'this guy... around the corner... he wanted us to say something to you.... i don't remember, i'm sorry...' and she said, oh, was it francesco? well, i definitely did not know the guys name, but we were all like, yes, yes i believe it was francesco... so she got a big smile on her face, and cut our bill in half and brought us a big plate of salami and cheese and bread... so, thank you francesco?
after that we found a big open piazza with a rather uppity little cafe outside with a pretty good band playing, so we got a table there and enjoyed the music for a while.... they invited me to hang out with them today, so we exchanged emails and said we'd email in the morning.
sooo then this morning, i walked sophie and nico to their french school here in florence, and it was so cool... almost all the kids there are fluent in at least three languages, because they all live in italy (hence italian) and the school is 100% french speaking, so they've got that, and then so many of them speak something else at home. watching the kids play before it was time to go into school was like seeing a little United Nations... so cute. another thing i loved about walking them to school was the opportunity to see normal life in italy... maybe that sounds silly but the area where cassie lives is just SO SO not touristy, and i love that. and yet it's still in the city, and yes, you still see americans from time to time (obviously including me), but as we walked to school there were so many people walking to work, opening their shops for the day, walking the dog... normal life. in florence. i think there are some people whose experience of italy would lead them to believe that it's impossible for an italian man to see a woman walking down the street and not haggle her. but the haggling often has a lot to do with the woman looking american, for starters. i mean, i shouldn't talk about this like i'm an expert, because i'm not... i'm just trying to say that i appreciated what i saw this morning.
(by the way i just caved and got a spoon full of nutella...)
because, by CONTRAST, my afternoon was so very touristy, and it wore me down big time. i met up with my seattle friends for lunch, followed by gelato (now at an acceptable time of day, you'll note...) and then we parted ways. i went to the church of santa maria novella, spent some time in prayer and looked at the art in the church, and then caught a bus for a dominican church up at the top of a huge hill where they invite people to come to the church when they chant vespers (in latin) and chant a mass immediately after (in latin) ... the church is called San Miniate, and as i sat and listened to their beautiful singing, (there was only maybe 6 of them but the church really made them sound so much bigger), it was striking to me how much at home i felt in that chanting, in that place, even though technically i couldn't understand anything of what they were saying besides the occasional doxology. and i was thinking about how neat it was that other people could come here and see REAL monks, and hear REAL gregorian chant, in a REAL monastery, and how strange and 'otherly' it must be for many of them... kind of like going to a zoo, in a way (no disrespect to the monks) ... and, more than anything, how immensely grateful i am that this isn't something i was just visiting or seeing from the outside, but something i've been blessed to experience throughout my formation as a Catholic, and something that I can say is my own as part of my Church (even though it's not my daily way of praying, obviously).
for anyone who wasn't Catholic, their transition from vespers to Mass was tough to notice, so that made me a bit uncomfortable because so many people were still sitting there in spectator mode, and i hated to think that it was turning into a sort of show, especially the consecration... i can't say what was in people's hearts, i just know there were a LOT of people who stayed sitting while a small number of us were standing/sitting/kneeling as the Mass called for it, and i'd venture to guess there were a few first communions as well... oh but that's really not for me to be concerned about. that's God's business. i guess the teacher in me was just looking to throw a bone, catecetically speaking, to the visitors, not to draw lines and division but just to illuminate a bit of what was going on and such. oh well.
so after vespers and mass, i had noticed a few guys who looked very american (khaki cargo shorts, polo shirts, and flip flops.... yep, american....) walking around looking at the art (they had also been at mass) and so i decided these would be good guys to be friends with, and asked one of them a question about the mosaic he was looking at (lame intro, but no one needed help taking pictures, what was i supposed to do?) and we started talking a bit... they were from texas, and they're in florence with baylor university for the next few weeks, and one of them even had a swing dance shirt on, so i just knew we'd get along. however, after some mild conversation, they said, 'well, enjoy your visit!' and left, and i was like, no, you were supposed to tell me we should get together again! you were supposed to ask me for my contact information! so i stood there pouting for maybe 30 seconds and then was like, NO, we are TAKING this bull by the HORNS, thank you very much, so i ran and caught up to them (definitely not desperate...) and asked if i could give them my email address, because i was looking for people to hang out with, so they were very kind and took it.
the victory in all of that wasn't that i gave out my email address to someone... the victory was in me realizing how hard it was for me to admit to someone, 'hey, i need friends, i'm by myself right now, would you be my friend?' ... something in me really fights that humility, that vulnerability, that neediness, and that's just silly, really. i mean i guess i'm not surprised i feel that way, but i'm glad i didn't let it ('it' being my pride, or my fear, or whatever) have the last word. i feel like i've made a lot of transitions in life as the new kid, but looking back on my different transitions, i suppose i've almost always had (1) either a security blanket of some kind or (2) a situation in which EVERYONE was the new kid so it's not like you're the only one looking for friends.
more to say, but i should be getting to bed... check back tomorrow!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
